I wish you all the best

Hi.

It's been awhile.
My heart still aches every time I think of how we ended.
And if I could go back, I wish I could tell you:

"I stayed for so long,
Not because I was weak,
But because I believed in the good person in you.
I left,
Not because you stopped wanting me,
But because I no longer loved myself by loving you."

Not that I say that I have healed.
Hearing your name still gives me pain in the chest.
It only takes me one second to have trouble in breathing,
after remembering the things you did.
Look what you've done to me.
You scarred me emotionally, mentally.

I once believed that the damage to my mind and my heart was permanent.

Until he showed up.

He, who taught me that no wound is eternal.
That all can be healed,
and that love can grow,
even in the toughest part of my being.

Now look at you.
Giving misinformation, trying to control how others see me.
It might seem unfair,
but I'll stay above it.
I'm so proud of the warrior I've created from the ashes that were meant to bury me.

You see, everything is working out exactly how and when it should be.
Look at me now.
Not rushing, not stressing.
Being present and enjoying life as much as I can.

You can keep being a toxic person.
But you can no longer control me.

For I have found a natural drug for all my panic, anger and anxiety.
It's his voice.
It's him.


I wish you all the best.

Delft,
10/03/2020

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